poison to make me better
The bruising is coming back again.
I thought I was done with meds that make me bruise like overripe fruit, but apparently not. Methotrexate, Humira, Enbrel, Remicade… None of them worked (at least not for very long) and all caused ridiculous and long-lasting bruises, mostly on my arms and legs.
Now, apparently, I can add Plaquenil to the list of questionable medications. At least this one is otherwise helping. Hopefully.
It’s awkward, though, being spotted with dark purple and yellow marks. People ask questions. I’m evasive, obviously, but not for the reason they think. No one’s hurting me. My body has just turned on itself, which requires me to take horribly toxic medications in the hopes of finding one that will help more than it hurts.
And maybe — just maybe — a diagnosis. Three long years I’ve been without one, hobbling along. Three years they’ve poked and prodded and stuffed me with one medication after another, hoping for some kind of effect.
Well, I’ve had enough. I want something to work. I want to know what I have. I want…
New doctor has put me on yet another drug. Hopefully this one works because if it doesn’t, we’re out of options with Diagnosis No. 1. After that, I guess, it’s back to the drawing board.
