Way with words

I'm a journalist, a writer and a shower singer. I take pictures, but I don't fancy myself a photographer.

I read the New York Times and wish I could write like that.

I love receiving surprise gifts.

I'm married.

I have an undiagnosed chronic illness.

I wear high heels.

I eat peanut butter straight out of the jar.

I am more than the sum of my parts.
Wed Dec 3

heavy eyelids

So tired.

Had second Orencia appointment today.

Hope it works.

Mon Dec 1
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

thresca:

(breathsoftruth:ledgeradio:willmccloud:via bornbackwards)

Clair de Lune - Debussy

I have always wanted to learn how to play the piano.

When I was 10, my parents put me in lessons for two months. When my piano teacher left, they never found me a new teacher, even though I begged and begged…

The Hubs’ parents have a piano. Maybe one day I’ll learn…

Fri Nov 28
Nanette Lepore, Grapevine sheath dress. God, I wish I was rich enough to buy this dress. It’s fierce.

Nanette Lepore, Grapevine sheath dress.

God, I wish I was rich enough to buy this dress.

It’s fierce.

Thu Nov 27

things i’m thankful for

Well, some of them:

  • My husband. We’ve been through so much already, and I can’t wait to see how the rest of our lives turn out. I’m lucky I didn’t lose him. 
  • This amazing view. I’m sitting in a cabin in the Blue Ridge Mountains, and it’s just incredible. I’m lucky to have family that is willing to take us to such amazing places.
  • My job. I’m luck to be able to do what I do and to love what I do. I get to tell people’s stories. That’s pretty amazing.
  • Music. I wish I could play it, but I’m glad I can hear it. I’m glad it affects me the way it does.
  • Friends and family.
  • Meds and doctors. I hope they start working for me.
  • Silence.
  • Good books. Reading makes me jealous and makes me want to strive to be better at the same time. I think that’s good.
“ And by the way, everything in life is worth writing about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.

Sylvia Plath (via brieflynoted: emilyposts: youcantstopthesignal: cafe) (via thresca)

Tell me about it.
Mon Nov 24

changes

We have a new place!

Sun Nov 16
“ Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking together in the same direction.

Antoine de Saint-Exupery.

It’s very true.  And I hope we get to look together in the same direction for a very long time.

We had a lovely weekend together, house- and dog-sitting for my parents.  We went to this hole-in-the-wall Italian restaurant Friday night. The Internet reviews definitely let us down.  Well, perhaps that isn’t fair; my entree was good and his appetizer was tasty.  So, not too bad, eh?

Saturday, we took advantage of a little discount and bought some clothes. He needed a new winter coat since we’re going to Toronto for Christmas, and I needed some more work clothes.

We walked the dogs and ate a delicious steak dinner. Then, we took a bath together.  It was lovely and relaxing and romantic.  I hope to do it again soon.

It’s amazing how comfortable he’s made me with my body.  Before him, I was uncomfortable in shorts, in a swimsuit.  This year, I’ve worn both — in public.  And I don’t cover up around him anymore.  He’s helped me break free from — or at least seriously crack — the slavish devotion to unrealistic female beauty ideals.

Now he’s gone again. 

Next weekend: The apartment hunt.
Wed Nov 12
11.08.08. (c) Me. A happier time with The Hubs. He gave me a scare the other day. I had just gotten out of the shower when he called me, said he wasn’t feeling well. He thought he might go to the hospital. We hung up. I texted him: Do you want me to come? His answer: Yes. I threw some things in a bag and left. He called me back, but since it hurt to talk and he was afraid to be in the apartment alone, he left me on the line. I don’t think I’ve ever done that drive in less time. Friends drove him to the hospital and stayed with him until I got there. His mother called and was… herself. We stayed overnight (again). They released him in the morning. He’s fine now. But he scared the crap out of me. I was afraid I was going to lose him. It felt horrible, like I was falling into a black hole. It felt like it was almost the realisation of my worst fear: living a life without him.

11.08.08. (c) Me.

A happier time with The Hubs.

He gave me a scare the other day. I had just gotten out of the shower when he called me, said he wasn’t feeling well. He thought he might go to the hospital.

We hung up.

I texted him: Do you want me to come?

His answer: Yes.

I threw some things in a bag and left. He called me back, but since it hurt to talk and he was afraid to be in the apartment alone, he left me on the line.

I don’t think I’ve ever done that drive in less time.

Friends drove him to the hospital and stayed with him until I got there.

His mother called and was… herself.

We stayed overnight (again). They released him in the morning.

He’s fine now.

But he scared the crap out of me. I was afraid I was going to lose him.

It felt horrible, like I was falling into a black hole. It felt like it was almost the realisation of my worst fear: living a life without him.

Mon Nov 10
'Runway' uncertainty

This would be horrifying. The Hubs and I cemented our relationship on PR.

Sun Nov 9

almost

Friday, The Hubs came to visit.

(God, that still looks wrong to me.)

We had a great weekend. We relaxed and ate pizza Friday. Saturday, we talked and went for a walk and went shooting with Dad. I finally passed my CCHP practical exam. Then, we went out for dinner. Nowhere fancy, of course, since we were still covered in lead and smelling like the shooting range, our ears still ringing with the percussive BOOM! of the bigger caliber guns. We were all probably a little unnecessarily loud, but in the crowded chain restaurant, I doubt anyone noticed.

Sunday was a lovely day. We indulged in one of his favourite pastimes (a.m. sex), one that is fast becoming more enjoyable for me as I become more comfortable with my body and for sentimental reasons — it reminds me of that first morning after we became husband and wife.

Then, he taught me how to drive stick… Well, he continued to teach me how.  I wouldn’t say I’m a pro by any means.

But… my cry-free days are over. Cried twice today, once while on the phone with the Hubs.

So, I guess that countdown is back down to: zero.